Small Posts

It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to cook with or for my granddaughters. Before Covid, I picked them up from school each Wednesday, and we spent the afternoon together, then prepared dinner for the family. We made their favorite meals—pasta and marinara …

I made a happy discovery this week. I had just walked into my acupuncturist’s office, and was closing the door behind me, when I saw the woman whose appointment is just before mine coming down the hall. Holding the door open for her, I stepped …

Everybody makes jokes these days about being home and available 24/7. And though it’s nice to know how reachable we have all become, with nine months of sheltering in place, most of us are beginning to suffer from sameness. We wake up in the same …

Although not as social as I once was, I certainly enjoy spending time with people. What I like most are one-on-one interactions where the two of us can enter a conversation deeply. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to catch up on any personal …

I’m not a social media user. In fact, I tend to avoid them. My age is partly to blame. My generation is the telephone generation. While our parents used the telephone sparingly, my friends and I couldn’t get enough of it. My high school boyfriend …

Aquatic Park in Berkeley is not one of my favorite places for a walk. While it might appear serene and picturesque from a distance–with its wide stripe of water and green borders–it’s a bit seedy and run down up close, its walkways muddy and often …

Many of us have been feeling helpless for some time. For some of us, feeling out of control crept in shortly after the 2016 election. For those kind souls, the feeling intensified with the arrival of Covid. Now, Covid’s persistence and rising numbers have spread—and …

I’ve worked hard during Covid to keep my spirits up, but have to admit that lately I’ve been experiencing a lot of sameness in my life. While pre-Covid, each day was different from the last—lunch with a friend one day, a hike with another the …

I’m feeling particularly happy these days, thanks to refinancing my house. Not because I’ll be saving money every month–although of course I’m pleased about that. For an unexpected but related outcome. If you’ve ever refinanced your home, you know how frustrating and tedious the process …

So much negativity swirls around us these days. First there’s Covid and sheltering in place, which not only creates an atmosphere of threat weighing on each of us individually and all of us collectively, but severely limits our activities. Even a trip to the grocery …

It’s been a long time since I’ve read to my granddaughters. When they were very little, we spent a great deal of time with books, gazing at them, turning pages, exclaiming. And I read, but not for very long continuously. As they got older and …

Imagine the setting: among the redwoods, on Jonah’s huge deck, blue sky, the sun bright, a gentle breeze. Jonah and I sitting in Adirondack chairs, Amelie on Jonah’s lap, her lithe nine-year-old body softening into his chest. The three of us are talking, the others—Poppy, …

I hear many stories about friends reconnecting during—and because of—Covid. Isolation gives all of us more time to think and to reach out to people who were once important to us but with whom we’ve lost contact. It also offers us the space to appreciate …

With so much to fret and worry about these days, it’s easy to overlook the small moments of joy in our life. They are fleeting, while the virus, the state of our country and the world, and for us in California the wild fires and …

Yesterday Steve’s back was bothering him, so I took our quarantine walk alone. I walked more slowly than usual, stopping to take photos of small moments that caught my eye. I felt freer to do this knowing I wasn’t holding Steve up. I would have …

It’s been a long time since I’ve talked on the phone. I mean really talked on the phone. While at one time in my life, a ringing phone sounded an invitation, quite a while ago it morphed into an intrusion. In high school, I logged …

Spending so much time at home sheltering in place, I’ve realized how much “stuff” we have and how little of it we put to use. Before the virus, I was too busy to spend time taking stock of what fills our closets, drawers and shelves, …

This weekend, facing double deprivation, I was feeling low. Not only are we dealing with Covid 19, but now the air in Berkeley is frequently unsafe because of the fires raging north and south of here—to say nothing of the crucible of sadness, worry and …

Since March we’ve been spending four or five days every other week at our place in Rancho Navarro, just beyond the Anderson Valley, off Route 128. Jonah and I bought the land 20 years ago as a mother-son investment in family togetherness; and over the …

Watching a video of Alice Waters preparing a vegetarian lunch, I was most impressed by her pleasure in the process. She seemed to enjoy every moment and phase of the food preparation, from selecting and appreciating each vegetable, then peeling, cutting or chopping her selections …

Last year at this time, I would not have thought it possible that five small rectangles on my computer monitor could make me so happy. But there we were, friends from our Brownie days of so long ago, together again, not in person but on …

Joining the Living Room Choir last year fulfilled my lifelong wish of finding a home for my voice nestled among other voices. I’ve always loved to sing. By the time I was in third grade, I’d learned the words to every verse of every Christmas …

We were stopped for roadwork on Route 128, waiting behind a short line of cars. Between Boonville and Cloverdale, 128 is a sinuous, narrow two lanes, with enough twists and turns to challenge my composure. I often close my eyes for the 40-minute drive, looking …

On his birthday this year, Jonah organized a horseback ride. Everyone quickly agreed to the excursion, including me. While as a kid, I was terrified of horses, I began to feel drawn to them about a decade ago. When I’m in France I volunteer at …

We’ve been spending a lot of our quarantine time in Rancho Navarro, where Jonah and I bought some property years ago. We now have two houses on our tract, ours built by Stephen and his guys around 15 years ago, then added on to just …

I began holding “Writing Workshops” with my granddaughters as soon as the Shelter-In-Place orders hit, and have continued this summer, though modified and less frequently. Last Wednesday, for example, we collaborated on writing a “graphic story” on the sidewalk in front of their house, each …

I’ve been aware that as we age, we become more and more grateful for the friends we made when we were young/er who have stuck with us through the years. My first college roommate and I are still in close touch, and I find our …

Most difficult for me these last months has been not being able to hug and kiss my grandchildren. In this, I know I am not alone: the New York Times recently published instructions on how grandparents can hug their little ones and remain safe. Knowing …

After we had the trees on our Anderson Valley property limbed up several weeks ago, a neighbor cut the downed branches into firewood for us. Since Stephen was busy with another project this weekend, it fell to me to stack the cut wood, a task …

I admit to feeling a bit down this last week, an accumulation of isolation, some family skirmishes, and my messy garden. The pandemic intensifies small pleasures but it also enlarges what might at other times have been small piques. Hoping for a bit of mood …

Stephen’s son, Nathan, is a personal trainer devoted to helping his clients lead the most healthful and serene life possible. I keep telling him he should actually call himself a “Living Coach,” since he works with a person’s body, mind and spirit all at once. …

I first noticed it several weeks ago during Stephen’s and my morning walk: a low stone bench with a plastic bucket of bouquets composed of flowers from the garden; and next to the bucket, a small pile of yellowed news pages. A handwritten sign taped …

The pandemic allows sweet moments to remain with me and grow even sweeter and more powerful, like a fine perfume. I always appreciate my granddaughters, now more than ever. And this weekend, I realized that the pandemic was protracting time, stretching it to allow me …

During the pandemic my friends and I mention frequently how grateful we are that none of our family or friends has fallen ill. We also talk about the large amount of luck that has landed our way: we all have family who love us, friends …

I’ve always loved and appreciated spring. Who doesn’t? And of course, each spring, we become aware once again of the cycles of nature, the rebirth after a long, and in some places cold winter, the green bursting out on the tree branches and pushing up …

Returning from our long walk a few days ago, Steve and I noticed a woman with a mobile phone walking towards us, apparently oblivious to social distance. We made a wide arc into the street to avoid her, both of us a bit annoyed at …

The Corona Virus deprivation that hurts most is not seeing my grandchildren. Actually, I do “see” them several times a week on Zoom and FaceTime. I’m giving a “Writing Workshop” to Amelie and Poppy, and beginning today, a Word Workshop to four-year-old Lucien. But I’ve …

Last week I allowed myself to be nosy. Stephen and I had been walking daily on a street that connects North Berkeley to Kensington, the town just north of here. A client I was very fond of but haven’t seen in a while lives on …

The Corona Virus is taking a great deal away from us. I don’t need to enumerate our collective or my personal losses. I can say, however, that the most difficult for me so far is not seeing my grandchildren. I feel their absence as a …

It’s difficult not to become panicked about the Corona Virus. Even if you remind yourself to remain calm, repeat that you are doing what you need to do, somebody around you fires up, and you’re off and running: Did I remember to use sanitizer after …

I realized this weekend that small is relative, and that in the scheme of things, one weekend out of an entire lifetime is indeed small. Last Saturday and Sunday, five members of my Brownie Troop reunited. We hadn’t seen each other in many decades. Some …

Most of us love hearing about good deeds–kindnesses offered from one soul to another. Hearing of one, we feel momentarily uplifted, convinced that the world, despite all that might be going wrong, is a good place. That people are basically kind and good. That war …

It was a beautiful day in Mendocino, the sun beaming, the breeze blowing softly. Stephen and I were at the beach with our granddaughters, strolling along the shore, watching the waves crest and break about 250 feet out. Poppy was gathering abalone shards from the …

I experienced small in a new way this weekend, on a walk with Berkeley Path Wanderers, led by my dear friend Sandy Friedland. For two hours on Saturday, Sandy led 40 eager wanderers up and down paths and along streets throughout Clarement and Rockridge, CA, …

Since writing last week’s post, I’ve been thinking about just how much a person can accomplish in only five minutes a day. Years ago, I worked with a writer so anxious about writing that we settled on five minutes each morning as the maximum amount …

When we visited my stepson and his family in Pasadena last weekend, he talked to me about Precision Nutrition, a nutrition course and coaching curriculum he is following. As he described a few of the lessons and practices from the course, in addition to being …

Over the past year, a great deal has changed in my life. I’ve added a chi gong practice to my daily meditation, and last summer I joined the Living Room Choir, and sing with them once a week. In addition, I’m seeing an acupuncturist who …

I am old and wise enough not to have made any New Year’s resolutions in quite a few years. Long ago, I made lists each year toward the end of December. While too omuch time has elapsed for me to recall any particular resolutions,I do …

I’ll begin with a confession: I’m intensely reactive, both to positive and negative events. Especially to people-generated events. I become quickly ecstatic in response to the kind, thoughtful, considerate, generous act of a friend. And conversely, I can become enraged if I feel overlooked, slighted …

I’ve never been able to carry a tune. But I’ve always loved to sing. In 7th grade, I joined the school chorus as an alto, and loved every minute of practice. But when I tried out for the chorus in 8th grade, after the same …

It had been pouring for two weeks. As I sat cutting carrots for the horses at the refuge where I volunteer, the rain let up, and Jean-Claude asked me to please help move items left over from the white-elephant sale we had held over the …

Stephen and I recently spent four days in Madrid, and for Stephen the highlight of that trip were the museums. Of course! He’s an artist, and loves noting more than spending entire days gazing at paintings. Unfortunately, I’m not visually gifted like Stephen, who can …

When I left France last April, I missed a major event at the horse rescue where I volunteer–la transhumance–when Marie, the director, and a group of volunteers led twelve horses and donkeys to a chateau nine kilometers from the refuge, to summer pastures. Yesterday, I …

I recently read some shocking news on Facebook: a close family friend of Jonah’s had suffered a serious stroke. This woman is married to one of Jonah’s closest high-school friends. She is young—in her early 40’s. She lives a healthful life—she’s vegetarian, aware of and …

Sometime during my year of thinking and seeing small, I began taking photos of beauty within decomposition. I’d focus on rust on crumbling metal pipes and fences, peeling paint and cracks on dilapidated buildings, tiny holes in stucco, lichen of all colors on rotting wood. …

I’ve just understood that at rare moments in a lifetime, something can be simultaneously small and large. And I have Stephen to thank for this discovery. We were on our way to SFO Monday, chatting with our lyft driver, when an awful realization burst in …

Last weekend, when we were in Pasadena visiting my stepson, Nathan, his wife, Corinne, and our grandson Miles, at dinner on Friday night, Nathan suggested putting our fork down after every bite. He’s becoming certified as a nutrition counselor, and this was one of the …

Walking to a lunch with friends today, I thought back to my experience at Limontaur, last week, traveling from the beach back to the parking lot. I remembered how, starting out, I was already impatient to arrive, how I caught myself and began paying attention …

Near the end of the block I walk several times a week to the Monterey Market, a young man turned out of a front walk just ahead of me, holding a stack of doorknob announcements in his left hand. As I passed him, I could …

This will be a wonderful experience of small, I thought last Saturday, when I learned about the initial exercise in the communications workshop I had joined: each of us eight participants was to spend a few minutes alone with a pinto named Reno in his …

The sand dunes north of Fort Bragg in Mendocino County, one of Stephen’s and my favorite places, is a goldmine of small. Which is ironic, since one of the area’s attractions is its spaciousness, its vast expanses of sand, and the huge white drifts that …

Once again, my granddaughter has taught me a lesson in small. I spent last weekend in the Anderson Valley with Jonah and his family. On Sunday, Poppy invited me on a “feather-hunting walk.” Her plan was to ride her bike while I walked, along a …

Today, I brought my attention to picking blueberries. Eight years ago, I planted a row of berry bushes in my backyard, and all the rain this year has produced a bumper crop. Each time I walk from our house to my office, a former potting …

Although I find it difficult to start conversations with people at parties, I’m known for striking up conversations with people in lines–at the supermarket, the green grocer, the drugstore, or discount center. The reasons for this difference are obvious to me. I have much less …

To write about my latest experience with small, I have to make a confession: I spend too much time playing a game called “Wordscapes” on my phone. The game involves unscrambling six or seven letters to fill in a small crossword of about ten words, …

Yesterday, I was feeling down. Nothing in particular, just a collection of annoyances. I had gotten up very early to attend a meeting in San Francisco, and the meeting started late. The delay wasn’t anybody’s fault; there had been serious accidents on the Bay Bridge. …

A week before I left Berkeley for a month in France, I began to feel overwhelmed—and daunted—by what needed to be done before my departure. I woke up one morning telling myself to begin making a list of everything I must do in the next …

Small has saved me once again! One morning I opened Facebook to a slew of postings from AWP (Associated Writing Programs), which is in session in Portland that week: friends and colleagues with their arms around writing celebrities, session presenters, cocktail parties, lobby scenes of …

I’m hoping you’ll help me get the small revolution going. Before I publish my next post, will you please: tell one friend about my blog, at janeannestaw.com. Thanks so much. And remember to think small!

I want to re-start a small revolution. I’ve been out of the country for a month, and now that I’m back home, I’m full of energy for a fresh start. Let’s relaunch this campaign with renewed vigor and determination. Let the small revolution begin! Those …

I want to start a small revolution. Those of you who have been reading my posts most likely know what I mean. For those of you new to my blog, understand that because I have experienced the great benefits of small, I want to help …

Sitting on the sidelines at my granddaughters’ schoolyard one afternoon, I saw how well children know how to celebrate small. After several days of rain, the sun had appeared and the atmosphere felt balmy. When I picked Amelie and Poppy up after school, they wanted …

Walking home from the local green grocer the other day, my food bag full of fresh vegetables, I noticed a plum tree, its branches covered with tiny red buds just about to burst into bloom. Within a few days, the tree would be a riot …

Like many of my friends, I became a news junkie after the last election. As soon as I got up in the morning, I turned to Alexa (a contraption I had sworn I’d never use) and asked her to play MSNBC. The minute I got …

To avoid the crowds on New Year’s Eve day, I went out early-to pick up a few more items for the celebration Stephen and I were hosting that evening. Parties are something we don’t often hold, and this would be a first New Year’s celebration …

The new year will be arriving in several days, so naturally, I’ve been thinking about resolutions—even though I’ve never been someone who takes the custom too seriously. It’s not that I don’t understand the tradition and its impulse. It’s tempting to tell yourself that after …

I’ve been against “To-Do” lists for a long time.  In all the years I’ve known people who make them—and for all the years I once made them—I’ve never known this strategy to really help the  creator.  Instead, these lists create pressure and guilt in anyone who so much …

Weddings can overwhelm me. Being someone who finds crowds—even groups—of people intimidating, the before-and-after-the-wedding-ceremony milling about, greeting those you know and introducing yourself to those you don’t, can be a showstopper for me. And that’s before I’m blasted by all the beauty, wrapped in pomp …

I’m reading a wonderful book: “In Pursuit of Silence, by George Prochnik. In the book, Prochnik, who is extremely sensitive to noise, seeks both silence itself and its effects on humans. This might be an excellent companion for small, I thought when I saw the …

Last Sunday, as Stephen and I drove home from the Anderson Valley after our Thanksgiving celebration, the sky was a clean blue, the sun, a brilliant yellow. This, after two days of heavy rain, and before that, two weeks of smoke from the Camp Fire. …

Life in these parts has been dismal for the last week or so. The air is heavy with smoke from the Camp Fire, four hours northwest of here; and the emotional atmosphere is charged with our collective despair for those intimately affected by the disaster. …

Below is a lovely Guest Post, from Cookie Murphy-Petee, who lives in Eagle, Colorado. The Guest Post Slot welcomes submissions from readers. Watching an episode of “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” with Itzak Perlman playing the ballad “Someone to Watch Over Me,” I looked …

Walking to vote this morning, I was ruminating about the tensions of this mid-term election cycle, feeling gloomy about the anger and hate blanketing this country. As I neared my polling location, I looked up and saw three homeless men standing on the corner. Oh yuck,I …

  My grandson Lucien, and his mother, Amelia, had dinner with Stephen and me last night. Adorable three-year-old Lucien filled the evening with delectable moments, as together the four of us laughed and played, acted silly and serious, danced and raced around the house. I …

Near the beginning of my walk at the Berkeley Marina today a stand of fennel caught my eye, lovely with its combination of textures and hues: the sturdy, celery-colored stalks, the bright green of the feathery leaves, and the sunny yellow of the blooms. All …

I think I’ve just proved the value of practicing small–in an inadvertent experiment, with one subject only. Over the past few months, I’ve reverted to my former instinctual negative thinking. I gave a talk in Sacramento last Thursday, and when I realized the next morning, …

When I opened my eyes, my head was still spinning and my stomach felt sour. I had tossed and turned all night from roiling dreams. What kind of promise could a day born in this state offer? But I didn’t suffer for long. I knew …

Lately I’ve discovered a new power of seeing small: it can make good things even better. Although I still practice seeing small whenever I catch myself worrying or feeling anxious, I need to invoke small much less than several years ago.  This realization, plus several talks I’ve …

I’ve discovered a new benefit of small. By the time I finished writing my book, I thought I had explored all the good I could accrue from thinking and seeing small. And ever since my book was published, I’ve continued practicing whenever I find myself …

If you have been reading my posts but have never practiced seeing small, you are missing out on a simple and straightforward way of reducing your stress and bringing serenity and joy into your life. It’s one thing to think that what I’m saying about …

Today, I was faced with a dilemma: the woman who schedules appointments for my acupuncturist had phoned to ask me to bring a copy of my book to the office for her. “I’ve read some of it and want my own copy,” she told me. …

My friend Tom Friedland phoned this morning to tell me about a David Brooks editorial in the NY Times. “It’s about Mr. Rogers and his views on big and small. Thought you’d be interested.” As soon as I got home, I opened the paper, and …

Today, small allowed me to have a peak teaching experience. Not that I don’t usually enjoy teaching and appreciate my students. I do. But I haven’t taught in some time and was worried about how an all-day workshop I had scheduled would work out. Did …

I often wake up in the morning depressed from bad dreams.  In one recurring nightmare, I leave my purse in a restaurant, on a park bench, or a bus, and when I realize what I’ve done, a sense of dread courses through my body like …

Several months ago, I scheduled a reading at the Boonville Hotel. It’s a delightful weekend retreat, and I speculated that guests at the hotel might enjoy my kind of entertainment. Three weeks before the date, I notified the newspapers in the Anderson Valley and Fort …

Last Wednesday, I took BART into San Francisco to attend a poetry reading at Green Arcade Books on Market Street. A long-ago student and friend, Hazel White, with whom I had lost contact for years, was reading from her new book, “Vigilance is No Orchard,” …

My youngest granddaughter, Poppy, has always been intensely stage shy. She was “too scared” to dance in her ballet class’s performance when she was four, then declined piano lessons because she didn’t want “the piano teacher looking at me.” And at her class’s Christmas performance …

Nothing makes me happier than when people tell me their own stories of small. Yesterday, after a book party, a woman approached. “Would you mind if I told you a small story?” she asked. Would I mind? I’d be thrilled! “My name is Mary,” she …

I’m in good company when I see and think small. Among my fellow small enthusiasts: Stendhal: “A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.” Aeschylus: “From a small seed, a mighty trunk may grow.” Lao Tzu: “The journey of …

I’m just back from a week-long writers’ conference on Ambergris Caye, in Belize, where I taught for a week. The morning after I read from my new book, “Small: The Little We Need for Happiness,” two of the writers in my workshop presented me with …

I picked up a book called “Rewiring the Brain” by Rick Hanson at my acupuncturist’s the other day. My own book “Small” is really about happiness, I thought. “This book might be relevant.” I’m glad I didn’t read this before I wrote “Small. I might …

When I picked her up from school on Tuesday, my six-and-a-half-year-old granddaughter told me she didn’t feel good. After we arrived home, I touched her forehead. It was warm. “I think you have a fever,” I told her. I offered her a snack and a …

This morning, the movers hauled away the last of my mother’s furniture remaining in her condo: Several antique end tables, a roll-top desk that had been my grandfather’s when he was a boy, and a highboy my father had always used to store his clothing. …

It’s easy to grow irritated when bad weather persists. Days of being snowbound or pummeling rain can turn our moods sour. It’s been pouring here for the past few days, torrents of rain causing freeway accidents and delays, and making going anywhere, even just a …

At a book event last Sunday, one of my neighbors called me over to her table. “I’m going to pay for two books, but I’m not going to take them. Instead, I’d like you to give them to two people who might not be able …

One range saves a life!

A grade-school friend I hadn’t been in touch with for decades, learned about my book, ordered it and began reading it. As she read, she emailed me her responses and reactions. Along the way, she told me something about the life she has lived. In …

We invited several friends for dinner last weekend. My usual mode when we’re having company is panic. There’s so much to do, I think. And what if it the food doesn’t turn out well? I move on from there, to worrying about my dirty living …

Driving home from celebrating our Pasadena grandson’s first birthday, my husband told me he was feeling anxious. “Why?” I asked. “For so many reasons,” he replied, then rattled off a list of concerns, which included events and situations months in the future. “You’re worried about …

Researches have proved that messes make people anxious. I couldn't agree more. Put me in a messy room, with dirty dishes littering table tops, discarded apple cores sitting next to chairs, outwear piled on those chairs, and papers scattered here and there, I begin to feel panicky. Now, I've learned how to a void the unease: I find one moment of beauty in the room: an interesting design in the rug, a beautiful ceramic pot, a painting, even a dustball just under the couch, and I focus on that. Within moments, I begin to feel calmer. Try it.

I’m ashamed to say that after my fabulous book launch last Thursday, I started thinking about all the people who didn’t show up. I did this for several days, and began compiling quite a list, before I caught myself. This is old behavior, I told myself. You know how to stop it. And I did. The next time my mind returned to the list, I shifted my focus from all those who hadn’t been there--for whatever reason—to the first face I could remember, sitting in the audience, smiling, sending me silent good wishes. It worked. I’m no longer thinking about who wasn’t there. And now when people ask how the launch went, I’m able to reply, “It was wonderful!”

I had a lot to do today and was feeling overwhelmed. I wanted to spend time with my granddaughters, who live 20 minutes from me, do my workout and my meditation, write a blog post, deposit the bags of clothing that had been sitting in the front hall for a week, at Goodwill—all before going out to dinner with a friend. The more I rushed, the more overwhelmed I felt. I’ll never get all of this done became my mantra. I finally realized what I needed to do: Think Small. I need to stop whatever I was doing, go outside for a short walk, and find a tiny, beautiful thing. I did that, and about half a block from my house, I picked up the most beautiful dried berry, mottled in various shades or red, with a graceful arcing stem. The minute I notice the berry, I felt my body relax and my chest expand. The world is such a beautiful place, I whispered to myself. Then I went back to my house and completed by chores, the image of the dried red berry with the arcing stem in my mind.